November 03, 2015 | The Wolff Chronicles

Caribbean Sea

On Board the MS Royal Princess: Day Fourteen

St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands, United States of America

[NOTE: I’ve grown weary of writing the usual bullshit narrative; so I’ve decided to dispense with it and present the raw notes I took on my iPhone instead.]

A tsunami hazard sign in Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands.

The MS Royal Princess in the distance, seen from the waterfront in Charlotte Amalie.

Dronningens Gade (a popular shopping street) in Charlotte Amalie.

Cozy restaurant inside the Royal Dane Mall.

Three Queens fountain in front of Blackbeard's Castle; the castle was built as a watchtower in 1679 AD and - according to lore - Blackbeard used it as a lookout tower in the early 18th-century AD. — Three Queens fountain in front of Blackbeard’s Castle; the castle was built as a watchtower in 1679 AD and – according to lore – Blackbeard used it as a lookout tower in the early 18th-century AD.

Homes on the hillsides in Charlotte Amalie.

More steps and crumbling buildings in Charlotte Amalie.

Frederick Lutheran Church in Charlotte Amalie.

Fort Christian (completed in 1680 AD), a Dano-Norwegian-built fort in Charlotte Amalie.

Charlotte Amalie, St. Thomas and Long Bay, seen from the cruise ship.

David Geffen's large yacht, Rising Sun, docked at St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands. — David Geffen’s large yacht, Rising Sun, docked at St. Thomas, U.S. Virgin Islands.

-got out of bed after 08:00, showered, dressed

-breakfast at Horizon Court: sausage, eggs, ham, bacon, hash browns, plain yogurt, mixed fruit, orange juice, coffee

-exited the ship (different port from last time; another ship was docked where we were ten days ago) at 09:40 and it rained soon after, pouring for five minutes; then followed by a ten minute respite before pouring down again for another few minutes; afterwards, the sky was partly cloudy

-walked around the French Town (downtown) and up to “Blackbeard’s Castle”

-whole economy here seems to live off of $4 rides per person from port to downtown (approx. 1.5 miles from either cruise terminal) on “taxis” (some are converted pickup trucks) that seat 10-25 people, as well as the usual overpriced tourist shops that sell liquor, jewelry, and cheap mementos that we would all be better off without

-back on board at noon; lunch at Horizon Court: oriental fried noodles, pork, mashed potatoes with gravy, iced tea; then oolong tea back to my room

-relaxed in my room, watching ‘Ted 2’, which sucked, took a break for dinner and a show

-dinner at Horizon Court: vegetable chow mein, pork scallopini, Cajun chicken fillets, fried cabbage and prunes, salad, iced tea; then coffee

-walked to the Princess Theater to watch the 18:45 performance of the ‘Unexpected Boys’, who sang Frankie Valli songs (they hit all the high notes and sounded pretty similar to the real thing); although they ended with the Act 2 finale song from Les Miserables, which is where they said they all met

-finished watching ‘Ted 2’, which was incredibly stupid with an average of one genuinely funny joke every ten minutes (better than many other “comedies”, but not good enough

-had a coffee and some cookies

-watched ‘The Equalizer’ and had two slices of pizza as a snack (pepperoni and four cheeses)

-four Guinness beers and then a Pina Colada at Club 6 and I talked with the Canadian and New Jersey guys, getting some great real estate advice from both

-went to bed around 02:00

An open journal or an exercise in narcissism.